Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Amateur Fashion Police for the 2015 Oscars

Must be a slow day at work, because Mom just emailed me a few pictures and asked what I liked about Oscars fashion this year.  So here's my own Fashion Police : D

Of course, I am not haute couture, but I have my own opinions about what looks good and what doesn't.  I happen to like colors, A-line silhouettes, and not looking like a hooker.  So you know, not at all what Hollywood likes.  But let's take a look anyway!  In no particular order, well maybe a little bit alphabetized.

Let's start off with a good one, here's America Ferrera rocking a lovely color and a bit of a train.  I think the center part thing is a little severe, but I'm not mad at it on her.  She looks mah-velous.

Mom says:  This is my absolute favorite.  I think this girl is going to be Hollywood elite eventually.  She’s very pretty.  Did you see this from the front?  It crossed over on the bodice and had an opening in the middle of the chest, but it was very tasteful.  I liked everything about it.

I say:  I also like this one.  I heard someone on TV say the "color wasn't very Oscars" but I like it.  The color looks great on her, and like Mom said, the keyhole opening was tasteful.  Anna has a great figure.  I'm jealous.  And she can sing too, I liked her as Cinderella in Into the Woods.

Ok, the Oscars gallery (I got all my pics from the Oscars website) says this person is Behati Prinsloo, and I have no idea who that is, but I am totally mad at her hair.  She's got the center part like America, but it's pulled back into a very Victorian governess bun that's just too severe.  Not a fan of her dress either.  Take that, actual Fashion Police who liked it.

The only thing keeping Cate Blanchett's dress from being a total snooze is the statement turquoise necklace.  I also wonder why her dress looks fuzzy?

Chloe Graze Moretz, get your hands out of your pockets!  And also, your dress is ugly.

It's Captain America Chris Evans, looking dapper.

And Captain Kirk Chris Pine needs to shave.

Here's Chris Pratt a.k.a. STARLORD!  And I only included this picture so I could say STARLORD!  But he looks pretty good too.

I didn't realize until I watched the E! Red Carpet show that Dakota Johnson is Melanie Griffith's daughter.  Anyway, I don't like the seam going across her waist, it makes this dress just look odd on her.

David Oyelowo working something different in a dark red tux.  I don't think it would work on anyone else, but he makes it look like it works on him.

No idea who this is with Eddie Murphy, but I am digging that dress.  Love the color.

Emma Stone, I want to love your dress, but I don't.  It needs to be a more saturated green color and less yellow-chartreuse.

Jared Leto is also in dire need of a good barber and a shave.  Bleargh.  Let's not even talk about his baby blue tux.

Mom says:  Yes, I did like this dress.  I like the sleeve rose and even the color on Gweneth.  She has had some terrible looks before, so I question her fashion sense, but this works.

I say:  I can't wear that super-pale pink, but it does look good on Gwyneth.  I'm giving this dress a cautious pass.

Mom says:  Loved the color of this dress.  It could have covered more and still had the same effect in my opinion.  The color may have washed out someone with a fairer complexion.  Looks good on J-lo.

I say:  Ugh, NO!  A thousand times no!  I hate the nude color thing, it's got way too much tulle, and it looks like her chest is being held hostage and is super uncomfortable.  If I were handing out letter grades, she'd get a Z.

Keira Knightley looks like she's wearing a pressed flower book, and it's also that nude color that does no one any favors.  Why do the actresses gravitate towards dresses that are so close to their skin tones?  Ugh, again.

Lady Gaga:  A world of no, even without the rubber gloves.  It's so blocky and massive on the top.  However, I will say I was pleasantly surprised by her Sound of Music homage.  And also Julie Andrews will always be cooler than Lady Gaga, but LG shouldn't take it personally because Julie Andrews will always be cooler than most everyone.

Laura Dern:  Love the dress, hate the hair.  An updo would have been much better, and it needs to be out of her eyes.

The actual fashion commentators on TV loved Lupita Nyong'o's dress, but all I could think was how uncomfortable it must be to sit on 6,000+ pearls for the duration of the Oscars telecast.  However, white/pearl looks amazing with her skin tone.

Margot Robbie has a vampy pose going here, but I do like her dress.  You'd think a dress with long sleeves at the Oscars would be matronly, but it isn't, and that statement necklace really makes the whole ensemble work.  (See, I could totally be a real Fashion Police officer.)

And returning to my personal Worst Dressed List, we have Marion Cotillard.  From the front her dress looked kind of okay, but I kept wondering why it seemed so much wider than she is, and then I saw the back.  The back looks like it's a maternity dress for her butt.  So not flattering.

I wanted to like Nicole Kidman's dress, but I kind of don't.  On TV it looked straight-up white, but it's got a slight chartreuse tint to it in all the photos and I just don't think it quite works.  At least this year her hair isn't the same color as her skin.

Neil Patrick Harris is looking good in his gray tux, but his husband makes me think of that little dude who was always yelling "De plane! De plane!"  Nope.

I really like the style of Oprah's dress looks flattering on her (and it must be a zillion times more difficult to find dresses for not-stick-figures in Hollywood), I just wish it were a better color.  O, you need more color.

I'm a teensy bit OCD, so when I was watching this on TV and saw the top black part curving so it was higher in the center than around her arms, I kinda wanted to reach through the TV and make it straight.  Still, Reese Witherspoon is looking pretty good.

Mom says:  Didn’t like the movie (at all) (movie = Gone Girl, this is Rosamund Pike).  LOVED this dress.  Love the color, too.  I think I would have preferred her hair down with this dress.  It looks like of messy here.

I say:  My wedding dress had a scalloped bodice top shaped like that too, so maybe that's part of what Mom likes about it ; )  Personally I think I would wear something other than red so as to stand out from the Red Carpet, but this dress does look quite smashing.

High five to Scarlett Johansson for wearing color, and that green is one of my all-time favorites.  She looks ridiculously fantastic in that dress, but the necklace and the hair are both off the mark.  Ick.  That necklace is too big by half, and hair shaved on the sides, ScarJo?  What is this, the 90s?  But dang that dress looks amazing.

Not the best picture of Sienna Miller, and I'm not a big fan of her dress, but I did really like her hairdo which I think had some nice braid detail going on.

Mom is laughing at me for going to see Jupiter Ascending three times in theaters, and the hubs wonders if I have a crush on Channing Tatum.  Not particularly, though he looks pretty dang good here.  His wife Jenna is also looking good, I'm not mad at the white and I like the detail along the front of the dress.

I have no idea who Willow Bay is, and I don't particularly think this is appropriate Oscars fashion, but I just have to give props to anyone who would wear a Yoda dress at an event like this.  Weird, but okay.  Well, I don't like the top part, and I think the fact that there is such a thing as a Yoda dress is bizarre, but I am a Star Wars fan.

My favorite dress of the night.  The color is a little washed out in this picture, it's a pale dusky pink on Zoe Saldana, and she is looking FABULOUS.  I think she looks better with some curves on her since she's had her babies.  And that pale pink color wouldn't work on someone else I think, it just works on her because it does NOT exactly match her skin tone.  But yep, Zoe knocked it out of the park, and I like to end on a high note.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Baltic Cruise: Copenhagen, Part 2 (Den Lille Havfrue)

We've officially made it, peeps.  The LAST blog post for last year's Baltic cruise.  Which means that now I need to get sorting on the Wales pictures, but first things first:  let's go back to Copenhagen.

We spent the morning at Elsinore, and then took the train back to Copenhagen and walked from the train station through the city.  I have no idea what this building is, but it sure looks pretty.

And there's another building that I don't know what it is.  But we were following the signs to see Den Lille Havfrue, which is officially the only Danish I know now.

It's the Little Mermaid!

And I was there!  With kinda messed up hair.

That wasn't supposed to rhyme.

The statue sits a little ways out into the river, probably to keep people from climbing all over it or something.

There was a good handful of people taking pictures when we arrived, but everyone was very polite about taking turns so no one got random other people in their pics.  And people traded off cameras too so we get a pic with both me and Ree in it.  Yay!

But we still did a selfie : )

After taking zillions of pictures of the Little Mermaid, we once more hit the road to walk through Copenhagen, and found this cool statue.

Who hitches bulls up to a chariot?  I don't know.

Some Russian-y onion domes for you; I think that might possibly have been a Russian Orthodox church, but it's just as likely that I made that up.

No idea what this building is, of course, but nice Classical architecture.

'Nother statue, probably another king or something.  They have lots of those in Europe.

Lee took this pic of the boats; the colorful buildings behind them housed some restaurants and bars, but it wasn't dinnertime yet so we kept walking.  Plus it was a lot of seafood, and I don't eat seafood.  Actually, when we did stop for dinner, we ended up having hamburgers : )

Last bit of interesting architecture...

And our very last Baltic cruise selfie.  Took me forever and a day to get them all posted, but I hope you enjoyed the tour of the Baltic!

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Baltic Cruise: Copenhagen, Part 1 (Elsinore)

Well peeps, we are (at long last) closing in fast on the last of the photos from our Baltic cruise from...last May.  I'm so behind.  But let's not dwell on how slow I am in posting these, let's just get right down to it!

So after we left Stockholm (which we quite enjoyed, between the Vasa Museum and the overpriced but still fun ice bar), our cruise ship took us to our last port, Copenhagen.  Lee and I booked a hotel to spend an extra night in Copenhagen so that we would have time to actually see things there before flying back to England, so once we checked in to the hotel and dropped our stuff off, we hit up the train station to go to Elsinore.

And when we arrived we found Noah's Ark?

We found this statue on the wharf, and this was Lee's favorite picture of the day (taken by me).  You'll see another, much more famous Copenhagen statue in the next post ; )

And this is the reason I wanted to go to Elsinore:  Kronborg Castle, which you might recognize as the setting for Shakespeare's Hamlet (which is, so far as I know, the only Shakespearean play that has been translated into Klingon).

Looks kind of moody and brooding in this picture, doesn't it?  If you're wondering, when Lee and I go places, we usually Google something like "top 10 things to see in (insert place here)" and that's how we found Kronborg and probably most everything else we saw on the cruise, minus St. Petersburg since that was a tour.

The current castle was built in the 1600s by King Christian IV (who signed it all over) after the previous 16th-century fortification burned down.

Kronborg was strategically important because it controlled one of the few entrances to the Baltic Sea from the west.  Sweden besieged Kronborg in 1658 (not terribly long after it was rebuilt) and stole a bunch of artwork as war booty.

After the castle fell out of use as a royal residence, the army moved in and used it as barracks until the 1920s.

Click this pic to make it bigger and take a look at the Eggo Waffle walls.

I told you King Christian IV signed the castle all over the place.  I think this was on a fireplace mantel.  *Digression alert* I was just sitting here wondering if it was mantel or mantle when discussing a fireplace, so I looked it up (fyi: mantel is for fireplaces, mantle is for an article of clothing).  I just read a couple of books by an author who has a serious and ongoing problem with homophones that was so bad I wanted to write a review on Amazon and teach her that "mane" refers to hair (not main); if you're seeing a single object, then it's "lone", not "loan"; and (worst repeat offender) if you're looking at something, most of the time it's a "sight", not a "site" (unless maybe it's an archaeological site, which it never was).  She also used the expression "lowered his/her brow" I guess to convey a facial expression of displeasure, but that's not a phrase I'd ever heard before.  This author used it so frequently that a.) it was annoying and b.) it could be the basis of a drinking game.  The bad thing about all this indie book publishing going on nowadays with e-readers is that a lot of these authors are in DIRE need of a good editor.  And some writing workshops.  Not to mention they most definitely require a good dictionary.

Ok, back on topic!

Here's another C4, this time on a ceiling.  We saw some interestingly shaped rooms in the towers of the castle, not really round but more polygonal.  If you scroll back up to the picture of the castle exterior near the top, this room was in the tower on the left corner.

This was a very large ballroom with lots of paintings but I don't know where my trip notebook is right now so I don't remember anything specific about the artwork.

Shot of the interior courtyard courtesy of Lee.

The castle has its own small chapel, and you can have your wedding here if you pay lots of money for the use of the chapel.  It is beautifully decorated, though.

Here's the organ at the back of the chapel.

You can go into the tunnels underneath the castle that were used for storage, and see a Danish character connected to Arthurian legend...

This is Holger Danske, a.k.a. Ogier the Dane.  Interestingly, his first appearance (that we know of, anyway) was in medieval French literature rather than Danish (well, they invented Lancelot too).  Like King Arthur, Holger Danske is an ancient king who is asleep, but will wake up to defend his country when it is in grave peril.  According to Wikipedia (source of all knowledge on the interwebs), the largest Danish resistance group in World War II was named after Holger Danske.

And there's Holger Danske with Lee's face : )

Not the best angle for a picture but we tried!

We were walking around the perimeter of the castle when it started to rain, so we got stuck for a bit waiting for it to clear out before we did the 15-minute walk back to the train station since we didn't want to get completely soaked.

Luckily we had shelter in the outer wall near the gift shop, and I got this picture framed in the archway from the wall.

One of the coolest things about Kronborg:  if you look at the castle complex from the air, it is shaped like a crown (tilt your head to the left if you don't see it).

On our walk back to the train station we saw this mural painted on a building, and thought it was fun so we took a picture.

Next up:  our last Baltic cruise post.  Cheers, peeps!