Thursday, May 28, 2009

Voodoo Snake!

I had an appointment this morning to do some pre-employment paperwork, and when I got home, I had the following email from my mom:

SNAKE!!!@#&*%#‏
When I got home this evening, I happened to notice something on the floor in the dining room. It is a snake. It's a small one, yes, but it IS a SNAKE. I put a small bowl on top of it, which will probably make it smother, but I am not going to PICK IT UP. It is black and was coiled up, so it was easily contained. YUK. Scary.

So I immediately call her on Skype and tell her in no uncertain terms that she should find a dude to come deal with the snake, either get a neighbor to do it or call my brother Adam (my dad is out of town on a business trip). For whatever reason, she doesn't want to follow this eminently sensible advice. Then my buddy Liz starts instant messaging me on Skype, so here's how our three-way conversation went:

Me: my mom found a SNAKE in her dining room. I'm trying to convince her to call Adam and get him to dispose of it for her.
Liz: tell her just to get a cookie sheet and slide the bowl off the table onto it and then take it outside
Me: it's on the floor
Liz: oh yeah. hhmmm. yeah then call adam. isn't that what boys are for?!
Me: that's what I keep telling her
Liz: if she doesn't want to do that, then she'll have to get a pair of tongs and pick it up and throw it out herself
Me: she wants to just leave it under the bowl. I wouldn't want to sleep when I know there's a snake in the house
Mom: *laughing at Christy*
Liz: it's not going to hurt her. It's prob. a garden snake
Me: it would still freak me out just being in the house
Liz: well, you're easy to scare then
Me: bite me!
Liz: the snake could ..... mwhwhahahaha
Me: as if YOU wouldn't be freaked out if there was a snake in YOUR house
Liz: not if it wasn't poisonous - plus I would just pick it up and throw it outside
Mom: you're pretty macho then
Liz: call your boy - that's what they're for!
Mom: I can't get my video to work on Skype...
Me: know why that is? It's cause there's a SNAKE in your house.
Liz: hahha - voodoo snake
Mom: Well, it IS black. It's got one of those little snakey heads.
Liz: as all snakes have (heads) haha

We finally convince her to call Adam to dispose of Voodoo Snake. I had to listen to her phone conversation via the Skype video chat because she quit typing to me and Liz, so I'm not too clear on the details of what happened when Adam got there. I do know that my dad's dog Ginger succumbed to Voodoo Snake's spell and tried to help him escape (either that or she fancied a Snake Snack) and got him halfway out from under the bowl, at which point I said "I TOLD you he was gonna escape and then come coil up on your head in the middle of the night!!" And then Mom and Adam kept leaving the computer so I couldn't hear what was going on with Voodoo Snake, which was kind of annoying. When Mom first told me about the snake, he was 12 inches long. When she got a call from Dad (which I overheard), he was 10 inches long. When Adam got there, he was 6 inches long. And then Liz said Voodoo Snake was turning into Voodoo Inchworm.

Anyway, after much hassle, my big manly brother (MY HERO!!) got Voodoo Snake out of the dining room and returned him to the wild, although they don't think he'll get too far as he was injured during his Ginger-assisted escape attempt. So here he is, in all his Voodoo Snake glory:



Creepy. We better NOT get any snakes in MY house, Okinawan snakes are poisonous. But at least now Mom can go to bed without worrying about Voodoo Snake hanging out in her dining room under a mixing bowl. Wonder if I have any snakey stamps, I think Adam deserves a My Hero card for this...

3 comments:

Giffysk8s said...

Can you hear me ROFL in MA? You guys are so " I Love Lucy!" My mom had a baby rattler in her garage (in CA) and over the phone I had to tell her how to decapitate it with a shovel. Not that I am into snake genocide, but she lives alone and was freaking and no one could help her , Rick's brother had snakes that woud freely roam their house. Can you imagine? Good thinking with the bowl!

CCsMom said...

OK, that's just too funny. I know your dad is going to crack up about it when he gets home and reads this. Yep, I feel pretty stupid, but doesn't VooDoo look creepy? I'm sure he's got one of those tongues that has a fork in it and he likes to flick. YUK. Yes, I can now sleep easy, which I have to do now . . . it's after 11:00 p.m., but I sure wanted to see your take on this forked catastrophe. Love ya! Mom, the Snake Handler

Liz Guidry said...

Mmmwhahaha! Glad Voodoo Snake made it to the wilderness. I'm sure he has a nice story to tell his friends about... I was telling Bobby all about the Skype chat and he was LHAO.

I wonder what adventures we'll have today?!

You guys are a riot!! I have an inchworm stamp if you need it - don't think I have any snake stamps!!