Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Amateur Fashion Police for the 2015 Oscars

Must be a slow day at work, because Mom just emailed me a few pictures and asked what I liked about Oscars fashion this year.  So here's my own Fashion Police : D

Of course, I am not haute couture, but I have my own opinions about what looks good and what doesn't.  I happen to like colors, A-line silhouettes, and not looking like a hooker.  So you know, not at all what Hollywood likes.  But let's take a look anyway!  In no particular order, well maybe a little bit alphabetized.

Let's start off with a good one, here's America Ferrera rocking a lovely color and a bit of a train.  I think the center part thing is a little severe, but I'm not mad at it on her.  She looks mah-velous.

Mom says:  This is my absolute favorite.  I think this girl is going to be Hollywood elite eventually.  She’s very pretty.  Did you see this from the front?  It crossed over on the bodice and had an opening in the middle of the chest, but it was very tasteful.  I liked everything about it.

I say:  I also like this one.  I heard someone on TV say the "color wasn't very Oscars" but I like it.  The color looks great on her, and like Mom said, the keyhole opening was tasteful.  Anna has a great figure.  I'm jealous.  And she can sing too, I liked her as Cinderella in Into the Woods.

Ok, the Oscars gallery (I got all my pics from the Oscars website) says this person is Behati Prinsloo, and I have no idea who that is, but I am totally mad at her hair.  She's got the center part like America, but it's pulled back into a very Victorian governess bun that's just too severe.  Not a fan of her dress either.  Take that, actual Fashion Police who liked it.

The only thing keeping Cate Blanchett's dress from being a total snooze is the statement turquoise necklace.  I also wonder why her dress looks fuzzy?

Chloe Graze Moretz, get your hands out of your pockets!  And also, your dress is ugly.

It's Captain America Chris Evans, looking dapper.

And Captain Kirk Chris Pine needs to shave.

Here's Chris Pratt a.k.a. STARLORD!  And I only included this picture so I could say STARLORD!  But he looks pretty good too.

I didn't realize until I watched the E! Red Carpet show that Dakota Johnson is Melanie Griffith's daughter.  Anyway, I don't like the seam going across her waist, it makes this dress just look odd on her.

David Oyelowo working something different in a dark red tux.  I don't think it would work on anyone else, but he makes it look like it works on him.

No idea who this is with Eddie Murphy, but I am digging that dress.  Love the color.

Emma Stone, I want to love your dress, but I don't.  It needs to be a more saturated green color and less yellow-chartreuse.

Jared Leto is also in dire need of a good barber and a shave.  Bleargh.  Let's not even talk about his baby blue tux.

Mom says:  Yes, I did like this dress.  I like the sleeve rose and even the color on Gweneth.  She has had some terrible looks before, so I question her fashion sense, but this works.

I say:  I can't wear that super-pale pink, but it does look good on Gwyneth.  I'm giving this dress a cautious pass.

Mom says:  Loved the color of this dress.  It could have covered more and still had the same effect in my opinion.  The color may have washed out someone with a fairer complexion.  Looks good on J-lo.

I say:  Ugh, NO!  A thousand times no!  I hate the nude color thing, it's got way too much tulle, and it looks like her chest is being held hostage and is super uncomfortable.  If I were handing out letter grades, she'd get a Z.

Keira Knightley looks like she's wearing a pressed flower book, and it's also that nude color that does no one any favors.  Why do the actresses gravitate towards dresses that are so close to their skin tones?  Ugh, again.

Lady Gaga:  A world of no, even without the rubber gloves.  It's so blocky and massive on the top.  However, I will say I was pleasantly surprised by her Sound of Music homage.  And also Julie Andrews will always be cooler than Lady Gaga, but LG shouldn't take it personally because Julie Andrews will always be cooler than most everyone.

Laura Dern:  Love the dress, hate the hair.  An updo would have been much better, and it needs to be out of her eyes.

The actual fashion commentators on TV loved Lupita Nyong'o's dress, but all I could think was how uncomfortable it must be to sit on 6,000+ pearls for the duration of the Oscars telecast.  However, white/pearl looks amazing with her skin tone.

Margot Robbie has a vampy pose going here, but I do like her dress.  You'd think a dress with long sleeves at the Oscars would be matronly, but it isn't, and that statement necklace really makes the whole ensemble work.  (See, I could totally be a real Fashion Police officer.)

And returning to my personal Worst Dressed List, we have Marion Cotillard.  From the front her dress looked kind of okay, but I kept wondering why it seemed so much wider than she is, and then I saw the back.  The back looks like it's a maternity dress for her butt.  So not flattering.

I wanted to like Nicole Kidman's dress, but I kind of don't.  On TV it looked straight-up white, but it's got a slight chartreuse tint to it in all the photos and I just don't think it quite works.  At least this year her hair isn't the same color as her skin.

Neil Patrick Harris is looking good in his gray tux, but his husband makes me think of that little dude who was always yelling "De plane! De plane!"  Nope.

I really like the style of Oprah's dress looks flattering on her (and it must be a zillion times more difficult to find dresses for not-stick-figures in Hollywood), I just wish it were a better color.  O, you need more color.

I'm a teensy bit OCD, so when I was watching this on TV and saw the top black part curving so it was higher in the center than around her arms, I kinda wanted to reach through the TV and make it straight.  Still, Reese Witherspoon is looking pretty good.

Mom says:  Didn’t like the movie (at all) (movie = Gone Girl, this is Rosamund Pike).  LOVED this dress.  Love the color, too.  I think I would have preferred her hair down with this dress.  It looks like of messy here.

I say:  My wedding dress had a scalloped bodice top shaped like that too, so maybe that's part of what Mom likes about it ; )  Personally I think I would wear something other than red so as to stand out from the Red Carpet, but this dress does look quite smashing.

High five to Scarlett Johansson for wearing color, and that green is one of my all-time favorites.  She looks ridiculously fantastic in that dress, but the necklace and the hair are both off the mark.  Ick.  That necklace is too big by half, and hair shaved on the sides, ScarJo?  What is this, the 90s?  But dang that dress looks amazing.

Not the best picture of Sienna Miller, and I'm not a big fan of her dress, but I did really like her hairdo which I think had some nice braid detail going on.

Mom is laughing at me for going to see Jupiter Ascending three times in theaters, and the hubs wonders if I have a crush on Channing Tatum.  Not particularly, though he looks pretty dang good here.  His wife Jenna is also looking good, I'm not mad at the white and I like the detail along the front of the dress.

I have no idea who Willow Bay is, and I don't particularly think this is appropriate Oscars fashion, but I just have to give props to anyone who would wear a Yoda dress at an event like this.  Weird, but okay.  Well, I don't like the top part, and I think the fact that there is such a thing as a Yoda dress is bizarre, but I am a Star Wars fan.

My favorite dress of the night.  The color is a little washed out in this picture, it's a pale dusky pink on Zoe Saldana, and she is looking FABULOUS.  I think she looks better with some curves on her since she's had her babies.  And that pale pink color wouldn't work on someone else I think, it just works on her because it does NOT exactly match her skin tone.  But yep, Zoe knocked it out of the park, and I like to end on a high note.


CCsMom said...

Yes, I do love the color of America's dress and think her hair would have been better done some other way. Very nice.

#3 is Adam Levine with his wife who is a Victoria's Secret model. I wasn't particularly fond of that either. (Why can't men SHAVE?!!!)

Cate Blancheet desperately needed a hair dye.

Chloe Graze Moretz's dress would have been better with a narrower skirt and NO POCKETS. She put her hands in her pockets because she COULD as these fancy dresses don't usually come with pockets.

Captain America, Chris Pine and Chris Pratt look fab, but yeah, Chris Pine desperately needs a shave. All 3 have facial hair, but his is unkempt.

Did NOT like Dakota Johnson's dress at all. The color did nothing for her and I'm with you -- the seam around the waist wasn't good.

I did love Eddie Murphy's date's dress. And she wears it well. Reminds me of another dress from before that was purple and had the fluttery train in back.

Emma Stone's dress would have been fabulous in another color.

Jared Leto -- take a shower, wash your hair, CUT your hair. You are no longer playing a trans gendered person in a movie -- be a MAN.

Lady Gaga -- uh, no. She has a thick waist and both dresses emphasized that fact.

Laura Dern likes hair in her face. But her dress is glamorous.

Didn't like the pearls. Didn't like the black dress with sleeves, either, but the necklace came from the Dutchess of Windsor's collection -- the one the Duke gave up the crown for, Wallis Simpson. Yes, royalty, albeit American royalty.

I think that Marion Cotillard dress is a French designer and the fashion was popular in a different era. Not, I didn't like that coming OR going.

Oprah has too much boobage going on. It looks like she's popping out of the top of her dress.

Reese was gorgeous -- beautiful figure and a very nice dress.

Nope, did NOT like ScarJo's dress -- maybe it's just HER and being so political. But her hair is major ugly. Looks like a biker chick to me, and no to the necklace. No, no, NO!

I think Willow Bay is a newscaster on a channel that I don't watch, but WHAAAT? Yoda? Come on!!! That's just crazy.

And I agree the Zoe dress is Hollywood all the way -- her hair is gorgeous, goes perfectly with the style of dress. Just yes, yes, YES. Very nice.

So those are my reviews of ones I hadn't reviewed before. Great job, Kik!

Christy Lynn said...

Srsly, E! should hire US to be Fashion Police commentators.

CCsMom said...

I think you are right on that one. Some of these dresses look like sculptures to me -- artsy and gorgeous. These ladies make nice hangers, don't they? That's kind of what I've always thought about clothing, although fashion has been one of my passions since I was very young.